Earlier today, Fred and I did a live interview on CNN. I was quite nervous but it is something that had to be done.
I'm going to make this post short(ish). But still, I want to say a few things.
I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support. I've said it before and I'll say(write) it again. I don't know how I will ever repay you for what you are doing for us. People who I have never met before are posting our story on their own blogs and Facebook and Tweeting. Sadly, they are losing Followers over this subject but they assured me that they are backing us 100% and aren't too upset about losing a few Followers. And the only way that I know that they are doing this is because I'm getting comments from people saying that they are coming over form (name a site)'s blog. So then I'll click over and there I am. The outpouring of love and support is unbelievable.
I also want to thank the tons of people who have come over here to leave comments. Beyond my regular readers, there are lots of people that I don't even know. I am completely overwhelmed. In a good way! And then I feel guilty. I love to reply to people but I have been so busy that I've replied to no one. Please know that every one of your comments is precious to me and it means so much. After this whole thing dies down, I hope you stick with me and I get to know you better. In order to respond to everyone, I would need to quite my job and do nothing but reply. I can't afford to do that yet! So please, come back. In fact, I will try to respond to any comments you leave tonight.
As a few of you have pointed out, Our Simple Lives, is not so simple after all. In fact, if you go back to my very first post in 2009, I make a point saying that a simple life is what I want, not what I have. So like most of my posts, my title is also kind of a joke. And I love the fact that you can see my humor even in my sad posts. I agree that humor is the best medicine. And I live for your funny and off colored posts. Keep 'em coming!
Taken with my phone at the Station
I need to let you know that out of all the comments, emails, phone calls..., I only received one negative (if you want to call it that) comment.
It's not governments on earth defining the marriage ... The Bible (God's word) says that marriage is between one man and one woman.
I don't mind this comment and I don't want you to mind it either. In fact, my blog is public and therefore, this person(Anonymous) can leave these comments. Sadly, they must have used their phone because it didn't show up on my blog but only emailed to me. Although I don't agree with their opinion(obviously), I'm glad they just left it without being mean. So please, don't any of you attack Anonymous for his/her opinion and I invite them back to see how my beautiful Family grows.
Here is who you can write to if you feel moved to do so.
Senator Robert P. Casey, Jr.393 Russell Senate Office BuildingWashington, D.C. 20510P: 202-224-6324Toll Free: 866-802-2833Fax: 202-228-0604
Secretary Janet NapolitanoDepartment of Homeland SecurityU.S. Department of Homeland SecurityWashington, D.C. 20528202-282-8000
Unless something else comes up, I am in desperate need of a break. Next week, I might do daily photo posts so you can see how I'm doing with my new camera that I never touch. I'd like to thank my Friend Kreg P., who lives up the street from us, for sending this link to me.
You are very kind and I'll never stop thanking you.
Your Friend, m.
p.s. Did you see me tug at my ear piece. That was for you. m.
Hey, I almost forgot. Our Simple Lives has a Facebook page. I hope you can find it because I'm not sure I have the smarts to link over to it. m.
Update: Peter told me to past this and it will work: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Our-Simple-Lives/286840071357172
Thanks Peter! m.
What a week it's been! And between you and me(no one else is reading, right?), I'm glad it's over. I know there is way more to come but I need a few days away from it all.
Yesterday, a film crew from CNN drove down from NYC to interview us. Upon arriving and trying to set up their equipment, Maggie wouldn't leave them alone. So I had her arrested.
Don't feel bad for her. I told you before that she has no manners. I blame her Foster Mother. "Love ya Aunt Pam"!
And they got right to town setting up their equipment in my living room. Getting my ottoman in just the right angle for visitors, took me forever. Then right before my eyes, they picked it up and moved it against the fireplace. I'll never find that perfect position again, I just know it.
I tried my best not to get in their way but my house is the size of a postage stamp so there was little I could do. I suppose had I stopped taking photos of the situation, that would have helped too. But c'mon, how often will a international news crew be in my living room?
Fred's ready for his close-up!
He looks a little washed out in that light. But that's what he gets for being born white. I had way more sense in the beginning. See my furniture against the fireplace. Why did they do that to me?
Gettin' strapped in!
Watching Fox News while waiting. Just joking, Fred would never!
The happy couple
If you watch all the videos that I posted from the past week, I think that carousel horse is always behind us. Maybe they'll make it the face of Gay Immigration.
Damn Paparazzi always following us
Don't worry, our neighbors are used to cameras in the neighborhood. But usually it's the producers of COPS. This is a nice change of pace.
Maggie escaped!
Can you see my box of Franzia peeking out from the cabinet? It was calling to me. "C'mon Mark, you know you want me"!
The Great American Melting Pot
When we bought that love seat in the late 90s, it was perfect for the two of us. The salesperson suggested that we buy the sofa instead for only $60.00 more. I didn't want a huge sofa in my living room. So I said no. I may have been wrong.
Listen, I'm not going to get all political on you today. I've had enough of it and all I really want to do is get back to my simple posts. But as mentioned before, this blog is a diary for the kids. And, well, this is what is happening in their lives.
Once again, and probably for the rest of my life now, I need to Thank you all for everything that you are doing for our Family. Our story has been shared everywhere and I'm hoping that the more people realized that this is an actual situation, the more pressure will be put on the Gov't to remove this barrier for so many Families like ours.
If this video doesn't work, here is the link: http://cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2012/01/14/pkg-candiotti-gay-man-faces-deportation.cnn.html
I hope to be back blogging regularly on Monday or Tuesday. I miss visiting you all and leaving inappropriate comments on your blogs. Thank you for sticking with me and I do apologize for not responding to comments over the past week. I was a little busy fighting the Federal Government. You know how it is.
But this is not the 15 minutes of fame that I wanted.
I was just checking with the World, and apparently, everyone knows our business now. Although there could be some folks in the Conga who are still clueless. But don't worry, I've Friended them on Facebook so they should know soon enough.
I'm serious, I'd rather not be known in history books for this. I can just see it now. "World famous Blogger and Civil Rights Pioneer, Mark Himes, died today at the age of 103. Doctors say it had nothing to do with the fact that he lost two Followers in one evening. In other news, burgundy and hunter green are back in fashion"! Honestly, why didn't I do Star Search when I had the chance? But no, I had to do life the hard way.
Don't let your guard down or Love will get you.
We have another crazy day before us. And once again, you'll find out shortly. But all I want is it to be 8:30PM, and the kids in bed so I can finally watch two weeks of Top Chef. I just see it there, in my DVR, teasing me. But nope, I'm too beat by the end of the day.
Smothered by Love
Once again, I want to thank you for the comments on this site, the emails and tweets. Yesterday was nuts with everyone and their brother forwarding around Wednesday's post on Facebook. I've seen folks, who I don't even know, saying things like, "although I don't believe in Gay Marriage(Marriage Equality), I can't see why the Government would want to rip this family apart....: Total strangers I'm telling you. It was so unreal. If I do live to be 103, I'll never be able to thank all of you and those people personally. I hope you all are reading now and know that everything you are doing for us is much appreciated.
Great Organization that we worked with for years and years and years...
Because you asked, here is how you can help. You can write to Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano. And if you live in Pennsylvania, you can write to Senator Casey's office. Both, on our behalf. You can let them know that you read the story on StopTheDeportations.com or that you know of our story from another source. If you do this, I would urge you to, as best you can, write it when you're in a good mood. No one likes a nasti-gram. In fact, Senator Casey's office already knows about our story and his staff has reached out to us. And Congressman Holden's office has been exceptionally helpful. I tend to think that people are generally good and want to help when and if they can. You read my post that I copied from StopTheDeportations.com. You know that we are asking for approval of our green-card application. Or at the very least, held in abeyance and not denied. I will leave the rest to you because I don't want it to sound like a form letter. And in fact, actual letters and phone calls are the best. Next week, I will post info about how to contact those offices. My mind right now, at 6a.m., doesn't have the will power to look it up.
Bloggy-Friends, I hope to be back to "normal" next week and start visiting you all again and telling mindless stories like how Fred removed clothes from the washer, dried, folded and put them away. Sounds great, right? But sadly, I didn't wash those clothes. I just had them sitting in the washing machine until there was enough to wash. So now, what's dirty, what's clean, who knows!
In the meantime, let me make you watch another video. This was from a French documentary filmed in 2008. It was on Gay life in America. Our part was about Immigration. I think they made a French and an English speaking version. Also, Fred is called Fabien in this clip. I forget why he wanted an Alias. But, it is what it is!
Yesterday was filled with emotions. Yeah. Me! Can you believe that! It started very early with rushing and panic to make sure that we had everything we needed for our day. And it ended in me reading 10,000 emails, comments, tweets, etc, etc...
We woke at 5:00a.m. to get our day started. You know, the usual Gay Agenda; walking the dogs, putting clothes in the dryer, packing lunches for the kids. But it was more rushed than usual. The only thing that we didn't have to do was to put the kids on the school bus. That is why I am so grateful for my Mom. She slept over on Tuesday night to see the kids onto the bus. Fred and I left for Philadelphia and the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services(USCIS) at 7a.m.
We were received warmly by the Officer at the USCIS. He asked us questions regarding all of our documents that Fred had compiled into a nice and orderly folder for them. Fred had originals and any copies that the Officer would ever want. The Officer asked us questions about our address, our In-law's names, date of birth.... The meeting took about 30 minutes. Our (not so secret anymore) attorney, Lavi Saloway, was with us at all times. And thank God for him because while we only knew our lives, he knew the law. At one point, the Officer asked Lavi if he practiced Immigration Law. Lavi's response was "Only". I thought that was funny. No cases, at all, are decided at the moment of the actual meeting. So, we thanked the Officer and went on our way.
We were so grateful for the fact that we, as a gay couple, even made it that far. This was unheard of just two years ago, or maybe just last year. Baby steps, people. Baby steps. And it felt good to be acknowledged as a Family and have someone listen to us. We understand that only 50 years ago, it could have been a White man and Black woman, both Americans, going through the same thing. So once again, we are grateful.
Now, the stressful wait for a response, of an approval or denial, begins.
I took my camera but have no photos. I was told several times while entering the building, that bringing it was a big No-No. And I listened.
Last night, as mentioned above, I was overwhelmed by the emails and tweets and Facebook messages. I started to thank everyone personally but it got to a point that I didn't have enough time in my evening to do so. I felt bad because I love to respond to comments and especially welcome new folks over here. But sadly, I cannot. However, I just wanted to take this moment to thank all of you for reaching out to us and with such kind things to say. I really was getting choked up last evening reading all of them. You have no idea how much it means to me. I read every single message and they are all Special. You wrote beautiful things. Unlike the comments in the CNN Interview that went out yesterday. I stopped reading those.
I need to say this too. A few of you offered us financial assistance. As wonderful as that sounds and I am honored that you offered, we are fine. Fred and I have planned for everything. The sale of two huge houses over the years and moving into a neighborhood that we can easily afford on one salary, has made it possible for us to be comfortable. But if you could buy a box of Girl-Scout Cookies from Claire which we'll donate to our Troops overseas, that would make my day. I'll tell you about that later.
Now I must leave and go get ready for work. Life goes on you know! Bloggers, Twitter and Facebook Friends, forwarding my post, tweeting and re-tweeting it, and actually writing about us on your own blogs, was an incredible thing to see. You are wonderful to me. Now I feel bad about talking about you behind your backs. But from this day on, I'm only going to use my gossiping for Good. wink!
This is a second video clip from the documentary, Through Thick and Thin, that was filmed over a two year span. The clip from yesterday was filmed while we were in a Rental. The following shows us at our previous house that we rebuilt. I'm not sure who these two guys are that are stealing the limelight from me. We're in this clip somewhere. We are two, of many thousands of people, who are going through the same thing.
Your Friend, m.
p.s. I will let you know soon if there is anything, that you can do at all, to help us out. Meaning, letters and such. But for now, just keep spreading yesterday's story so people are aware of this issue. Thanks for your help. m.
Philadelphia (CNN)-- Frederic Deloizy says his life began the day he met Mark Himes by chance at a birthday party in April 1990.
Himes had recently started a job with Pennsylvania State System of Higher Education, and Deloizy was studying at a nearby college. The strangers arrived at the party at the same time, and Deloizy held the door open for Himes, catching his eye.
"It was love at first sight. We felt we belonged together," Deloizy said.
Deloizy, a French national, spent the past two decades in and out of the United States leapfrogging from one visa to another, in hopes of creating a life together with Himes, who was born and raised outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
But 21 years and four adopted children later, the couple -- who were married in California in 2008 -- is fighting to stay together since Deloizy's final visa expired in September.
Deloizy faces deportation because immigration officials are barred from recognizing their marriage under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
Himes filed a spousal green card petition so they can continuing living stateside in Harrisburg with their four children, John, 11, Claire, 8, and 6-year-old twins, Jacob and Joshua.
"I will no longer ride in the back of the bus. I am tired of waiting for people to give me rights," Himes said.
On Wednesday, they will appear before an immigration officer at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services' district offices in Philadelphia to defend their relationship and marriage, the usual process for opposite-sex married couples where one spouse is foreign-born and not a U.S. citizen.
From left to right is Jacob, 6, John, 11, Claire, 8, and Joshua, 6.
However, Deloizy and Himes represent a growing number of same-sex couples with a partner of foreign nationality at risk of separation under DOMA, according to the couple's immigration attorney, Lavi Soloway.
"They have sacrificed everything for their family, and the idea that the federal government wants to tear them apart in the name of the Defense of Marriage Act is preposterous and cannot [be allowed to] happen," said Soloway, co-founder of Stop The Deportations, a campaign to stop the deportations of spouses of gay and lesbian Americans.
DOMA was passed in 1996 by the GOP-controlled Congress and signed into law by Democratic President Bill Clinton. It bars federal recognition of same-sex marriages and says states cannot be forced to recognize such marriages from other states.
The couple could receive a decision Wednesday or weeks later about their green card petition, Soloway said. At best, they could buy time if their case is placed on hold until DOMA makes it to the Supreme Court. On the flip side, deportation proceedings could begin for Deloizy.
"If I'm deported, the whole family is deported. You don't split a family," Deloizy said. "It could make me mad, but it makes me sad. This is our reality."
In February, President Barack Obama ordered the Justice Department to stop defending the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. Despite the order, the administration will continue to enforce the law.
"(DOMA) is clearly unconstitutional because it violates basic equality rights," said David S. Cohen, associate professor of law at Drexel University's Earle Mack School of Law. "Unless the legislative stars align themselves and make it a part of the priority to repeal DOMA, it will take some time for the courts to get to it."
The couple is not seeking special treatment, instead they're asking for equal protection under the law, Himes said.
"You live constantly with the stress of knowing that you're a second-class citizen and at any moment your family could be torn apart by the same government that permitted you to become a family," Himes said. "This is not gay life. This is two guys with a lot of kids trying to get laundry done and homework finished."
With Deloizy unable to work because of his visa status, Himes is now the sole breadwinner for the family. Deloizy runs the household when Himes is at work, packing lunches, getting the kids off to school, and shuttling their brood to doctor's appointments and activities.
"I simply could not do this by myself," Himes said. "The private schools are gone, the nice cars are gone, and the big house is gone. But we have our family and we have our love."
Himes chronicles their daily life on his blog, where he creates a "virtual scrapbook" of the couple's children: his daughter, Claire, getting her ears pierced for Christmas; his son, Jacob being rushed to the hospital when he bit his tongue after falling off his pogo stick; and the family trip to Washington for the White House Easter Egg Roll in 2010.
"It's not about being gay or straight, it's about love," Deloizy said. "If we're not a family then what are we?"
I know, my post looks odd today. That's because I copied it directly from Stop the Deportations.com. I'm in a rush and I need to make this fast. Today is what Fred and I have been waiting for for almost 22 years now. Please read below and you'll understand how big of a deal this is.
I've been crazy busy in the past couple of days and that is why you've hardly seen me around the Blogesphere. And I'll be even more busy in the days to come.
I probably won't have time to respond to your comments but if you leave one with a question in it, I'll be sure to answer it all in the next few posts.
Thank you all for your love and support
By the time you read this, we'll be on our way to Philadelphia to meet with officials at the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. We hope to be received warmly.
Here's the story behind the story that you already know.
m.
After more than 20 years, four children, and three houses, we are still unsure of our future.
Like any other parents in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania where we live, we spend our days taking care of our family, making sure that our children are loved, happy, healthy and are learning the skills and values that will give them the most opportunities for a successful and fulfilling life.
And yet, as much as we have devoted our lives to our family and to each other, we do not enjoy what most families in America take for granted. Despite being legally married, and having become the parents of four wonderful children, our family can be torn apart at any time by my own government because of the Defense of Marriage Act and because of outdated immigration laws.
Fred and I met in April of 1990 at a birthday party for a mutual friend. As I learned later, neither one of us wanted to attend the part on that particular night, but, somehow, we both were talked into it. I arrived with my friend Rebecca at the same time that Fred arrived with his friend, Steve. As we approached the entrance, Fred said hello to me in his thick French accent. I often joke saying that “he had me at allo.” He held the door open for me that night.
After that, we spent most of the rest of the evening on the floor in the hallway simply talking about our lives. I found out that he had been in the country for the past year teaching at a university a couple hours away. By midnight, his crew was heading out. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in and gently kissed him. I don’t know what possessed me to do that. He looked shocked. After he left, I asked the host if Fred was gay, since almost everyone at the party was straight. The host responded “yes” and told me that Fred was planning on going into the priesthood. That didn’t stop me from reaching out to him. I tracked him down at his university and sent him a card. We were able to meet again a few times before he went back to France two months later. And so began unbearable seven years of flying back and forth across the ocean as often as we could.
In April of 2000, we submitted our application to an adoption agency. They called us six days later to let us know that a boy was just born and asked if we would be interested. Nervously, we said yes. Our son, John, was born on April 20th, 2000. In July 2003, we were blessed again by the birth of our daughter, Claire.
In 2004, with Fred’s work visa due to expire after he reached the limit of six years, he and his employer reached out to an immigration lawyer only to learn that they had acted too late to be eligible for any extension. We began to face the prospect, that we would be forced to leave the United States and move to France. It was very difficult for me to think of leaving my parents and my sister with severe MS, but we could not allow our children to be separated from one of their parents. Our highest priority was keeping our family together. So thinking that we were moving to France, we advertised the house for sale. We had a buyer within a couple of days. With only a few months to go, Fred was able to obtain a student visa to attend our local college. But it was too late to save the house. We moved into a rental. During this time, we experienced what so many gay binational couples come to feel: a growing sense of frustration with the blatant discrimination that prevents gay American citizens from sponsoring their partners, even when they are legally married. We were featured in the documentary, Through Thick and Thin, which profiled the experiences of a diverse group of binational couples. We felt then, as we do now, that we must stand up for our rights. We could not live on this roller coaster, without any way to plan a secure future for our family, and just sit on our hands and do nothing.
Also during that time, we found another condemned house and started renovations on that. We completed the renovations and moved into that in 2005. By 2007, with two kids in private school and Fred unable to work because of his status as a foreign student, money was running low. We decided that, once again, we had no choice but to sell the house into which we literally had poured our blood, sweat and tears. It was heartbreaking to lose our home. We sold the house quickly and purchased a much smaller house in a less expensive neighborhood so that we could keep going for as long as possible on one salary.
In 2008, we married in San Francisco, 18 years after we had first met. A French film crew came with us, and we became part of a film on gay life in America: This is Family.
On April 7, 2009, our 19th anniversary, we met our youngest sons, Jacob and Joshua who were four at that time. They easily blended into our family and overnight, we went from two children to four. We were a growing family, full of love and optimism about our future in every respect but one. A ticking clock grew ever louder, as we knew that Fred’s student visa would eventually come to an end.
In the spring and summer of 2011, we were forced again to weigh our options. Now the proud (and sometimes exhausted) parents of four children, we were forced to look for a way to remain together in this country or else leave. We started to seriously consider moving to France. However, we quickly learned, that despite some advances in French law over the years, we were trapped. We could not stay in the United States (my country) and we could not move to France (Fred’s country). We are unwanted by both. Although we are both the legal parents of four American children, and both the state and federal government recognizes our status as parents, it will not recognize our marriage because of the Defense of Marriage Act. According to the U.S. government, I am the father of our four children, and Fred is the father of the same four children, but we are legal strangers to each other. Our marriage, our nearly 22 years together, all of that amounts to nothing. Fred has no right to stay in the United States beyond the expiration date of his visa. And that day was rapidly approaching. At the same time, while France would recognize our relationship under its less-than-optimal Civil Solidarity Pact (“PACS”), and it may even permit me to reside in France legally as an immigrant on the basis of our relationship (but not our marriage), the French government refuses to recognize the adoption of our children, because under French law same-sex couples are prohibited from adopting children. We are trapped by U.S. law that refuses to see our marriage, and French law that refuses to see our children. We cannot continue to live this way, and we cannot be torn apart. .. so we decided to fight back.
Over the past years, we have built our entire lives in the U.S. All of our family and friends are here. Our children should not be put through the trauma of seeing one of their parents forced out of the country, nor should we be uprooted and turned into refugees searching for a third country that will take us in. It is an outrage that my own government has created this situation and allows it to persist, when it has the power to solve the problem both in the short-term with interim policy changes, and in the long-run by defeating DOMA. We are thankful that this administration is fighting DOMA in court alongside lesbian and gay couples. Those cases will hopefully bring an end one day to that law and its cruel, unnecessary impact. But we need the administration to help all LGBT families like ours today by putting in place policies that protect us.
This past summer we decided to join The DOMA Project and fight for full equality for our family. After many discussions with our lawyer, we decided that I would file a “green card” petition on behalf of Fred, as my spouse. We have done this because we cannot continue to exist from one visa to another, we cannot put our children through the stress, and we cannot allow the status quo, in which our future is so unstable, to continue. We believe that we must set an example for our children by living our lives in a way that assumes we are all equal.
On Wednesday, January 11, 2012, Fred and I will go to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services office in Philadelphia to be interviewed in connection with the marriage-based immigration petition I filed last summer. We will go into that interview expecting to be treated equally. A USCIS officer will ask us about our marriage, review our evidence of cohabitation and commingled finances, and proof that that we have a marital relationship. We have dutifully compiled a pile of documents and photographs for review. We welcome the opportunity to be treated just like everyone else: to prove that our marriage is real. While we look forward to the interview, we have no illusions of what we are up against. We will prove that we are, in every way, qualified for Fred to receive a green card, but he will still be denied. And that is where the next stage of our fight will begin.
We have notified our elected officials and we will continue to fight for our case to be approved or, at the very least, held in abeyance, and not denied. We are painfully aware of the Obama administration’s position that DOMA, despite being unconstitutional, must be enforced. We know that President Obama believes that DOMA prevents the Immigration Service from “recognizing” our marriage. Even so, there is no reason that our marriage cannot be respected and our family protected. We need bold leadership to create remedies that keep all families together. Our four children, John, Claire, Jacob and Joshua, deserve no less.
A couple of months ago, Johnny had to be rushed to the hospital because he sliced his finger nearly off. Apparently, Jacob was jealous because of all the attention that Johnny was receiving, so...
He thought he'd give it a shot!
Claire slept over at her Friend Riley's house on Friday night. At 3PM on Saturday, I picked her up and as we were leaving, Riley's Mom, JHo(as I call her) came running out with her phone saying that Fred was on the line. In a rushed voice, Fred said, "I just called 911 and the ambulance is on its way. Jacob fell off his pogo stick and bit his tongue off"! I said I'd be right there. I handed the phone back to JHo and told her that I'd call her later. I rushed home. It should have only taken a few minutes but I was stuck in Farm Show traffic. Damn that Farm Show! Fred called me again to let me know that our neighbor, Ellen, was at the house with John and Joshua and that he was leaving with the ambulance. I was pulling in as Fred and the ambulance were rolling down the street.
WARNING: BLOOD AHEAD!!!
I hope our Adoption caseworker isn't reading this.
First, I would like to thank Fred for not grabbing one of my linen napkins this time. But as you can see, he grabbed one of the towels that his Mother brought from France in April as a gift to me because she thinks my towels are dingy. So she'll be happy to see that I've kept this one pretty white. Well, except for the blood stains that is. Otherwise, as clean as the day she brought them!
Little Man
As I was rushing to close the house down again and um, well, grabbing my camera, I asked Ellen what she knew. She said that she had only arrived to occupy the kids so that Fred could deal with Jacob and the medics. She really didn't know much. Yes, that is a DS that Jacob is holding above. I know from the last time that kids go nuts without something to do in Emergency Rooms. So I locked up, threw the kids in the minivan and off we went.
It's not a hike in the woods but what can you do?
I've told you before that I don't get hysterical in these matters. After almost 22 years, I've learned to take whatever Fred tells me, about a situation, and dial it back by half. I knew that he told me that Jacob bit off his tongue but I was hoping for something less traumatic. I won't leave you hanging. I was right. Now mind you, it is a major gash in the top and bottom part of his tongue but like Johnny's finger, it is able to be saved. Okay, let's continue.
Fred calling my Parents
Listen, it's sort of mandatory that we call my Mom and Dad. If we don't, we'll never hear the end of it. So, the first call is always 911 and then to my Mom. She'd prefer it the other way around but we have to draw the line somewhere.
We always luck-out and get the best doctors.
And yes, again, I asked her if I could photograph her examining him and she agreed. To hell with those HIPAA laws! By the way, I really don't have my children get hurt to increase the popularity of this blog. But, since they do get hurt, why not grab my camera! Oh, stop. You're just jealous because you don't think to grab yours in the midst of an emergency. I'm right, aren't I?
She photographed the tongue and emailed it to the surgeon to determine what to do. He emailed back and said that it wasn't bad enough to operate. Although his tongue looks horrible, apparently tongues have an incredible blood/vein/artery system that can heal itself quickly. I'm only going by what they said. So we have several days of blended food to prepare for him.
I made him "scooch" over so that I could love him up
That's the problem with having a lot of children, the chances of someone getting hurt increases. And of course, as the parent, you hurt right along with them. And if you don't, there's something wrong with you.
But as long as they're not the hurt ones, my kids kind of like the hospital. As soon as we walk in, all I hear is "Where are the vending machines? Can we get a snack? How about a coke? Can I get a coke and Doritos...? Are there any Snickers in that machine"? Seriously, it's Kids Gone Wild. And although Jacob couldn't join in on our "dinner", he took the opportunity to relax and catch up on his shows.
His Highness was in charge of the remote.
Luckily, he put on a show that I sometimes watch too. And sometimes, I watch it by myself. Good Luck Charlie. Oh, don't look down on me. I only watch it for the Mom on that show. She kills me!
He'll be off school on Monday. And when he goes back to school, Fred will pack a container of mush for him to drink. Doesn't that sound yummy? But there is a silver lining to this saga. He hasn't talked back to me in at least 24 hours. See, it ain't all bad!
"Why so quiet, Jacob, cat got your tongue"?
I think my Comment system corrected itself over this past weekend. I finally got email notifications that people left comments on my site. Days later, but still, I got them. They all came in at one time. Please, send your thoughts and prayers to my comment system.
Come back on Wednesday. I think that's the day when you learn my "Big Secret". And no, it's not that I'm actually a Mommy Blogger in disguise. I think that secret's out.
I think I'm starting this year negatively. My last post was all about how I hate my new camera and this post is more along those same lines. And while talking about being negative, I was speaking with a co-worker of mine earlier in the week and we were complaining about something. And she said, "Mark, we're turning into those negative women who used to work here who bitched about everything". We laughed it off because we're really not like them at all. The difference is that those women hated their jobs and marked the days off on calendars until they could retire. My Friend and I love our jobs. But sometimes, a bitch-session really comes in handy.
As mentioned earlier in the week, Fred help me declutter the kitchen cabinets. I was so grateful to him because that's not his thing. And also as mentioned, I had stacked everything on the table to photograph and then chuck in the trash or donate. It was there a couple of days and, because I'm not touching my camera, I did nothing with the stuff. Wednesday night, I took Claire to Brownies and came home around 8PM. We settled the kids in bed and then we relaxed ourselves. When I woke up yesterday and walked through the dining room, the entire table had been cleared of my last remaining items to complete my 365 day project.
Long story short, Fred, who doesn't follow this blog, assumed that my project ended on December 31st, not January 14th. Therefore, he did me the "favor" of tossing everything into the trash. As he was telling this to me, I could hear the garbage truck leaving our block. Needless to say, I was upset. But in his defense, he was trying to help me. Still, it kind of ruined my mood yesterday. And then of course, today was suppose to be the day where I declared my Victory over my Clutter. I now have until the 14th to try and find 37 more items. Removing the last 100 items out of this house caused arguing because it wasn't my stuff. I'm not sure I want to go there again. This may be the death of my de-cluttering project.
I have been walking ever since Tuesday. And since I'm writing on Friday morning, you can see that I didn't die afterall. I leave the house exactly at 7:30 and arrive at work at exactly 8a.m. on the dot. I do a 15 minute mile and if I start to slack, I speed up my walking. All the time making sure that I don't look like a stupid-ass speed walker. Any faster and I'd have to invest in a matching jogging suit and fanny pack. It wouldn't be pretty.
I'm not about to say that I enjoy walking to work. I can tell you that I don't hate it. It's not like it's a stroll through the park or something. It's to get from point A to point B in 30 minutes and that's it. To tell you the truth, it's kind of boring. Obviously, it's way better than walking on a treadmill, but still, a little boring. I've varied my route a few times just for a change of scenery. It's cold so there aren't many souls outside to say hi to. Also, I don't listen to music or anything like that. I prefer to be aware of what's around me so if my mind is occupied by music, I'd worry that someone would come up behind me and slash my throat. And it doesn't help that Fred and I are currently watching The Tudors, The Borgias and The Medici Family, simultaneously, on Netflix. I'm a tad paranoid.
I stepped on the scale at the office(we have a gym that I don't use) only to discover that I'm heavier than I thought I was. I felt sick. But sadly, my lunch had already been digested so there was little I could do about it at that point. What I can tell you so far is that, because I'm walking heavily, I don't feel the need to gorge on food like I do. And because I arrive home later than usual and am thirsty, I don't run to my Merlot. I think that's all helping.
And I woke up yesterday feeling pretty good about myself. I showered and started to get dressed. I only felt fat while putting my underwear on. I stood there shaving and uncomfortable thinking how I could let myself get to this point. Then I realized that I was wearing Johnny's underwear. I don't think I need to explain how disturbing, on so many levels, that realization was. I really can't even "go there". Let me just say this. There is nothing positive at all about wearing your children's underwear. I don't care how thin you are. The only thing I thanked God for was that I wasn't wearing Claire's Good Luck Charlie underwear.
I promise to pick up my camera and practice this weekend. Other than color coding everyone's underwear, I have no plans for Saturday and Sunday. So perhaps I'll take the kids to the forest and shoot them. Yes, I know how that sounds.
I've received several emails from folks saying that they are unable to comment on this site. I have a love/hate relationship with my Comment System. When it works, it's beautiful. That is, again, when it works. A lot of the times, I'm not getting notified that you have left a message. I only know because when I click on this blog, I see that there are more comments. I need to let you know that I respond to a lot of those comments. If you don't see an email response, there is probably one that I left for you here. If you are having problems leaving a comment, perhaps it's the browser that you're using. I really have no idea. But I thank you for trying.
