The Day After

Actually, life just started to get "normal" again yesterday. Christmas really kicked me in the ass this year. We just didn't have Christmas, we had everything leading up to it and the Adoption Finalization as well. It was non-stop. And as exhausting as it was for me, Fred had the worst of it. Following are some of the pictures that I took Christmas day. Enjoy.
People at the office would ask me if I was ready for Christmas. I would reply, "If Fred is ready, I'm ready". Between Fred and my Mom, the shopping and organizing of presents is conducted. My job is to show up. Sounds pretty easy, right? And it is. I really owe it to them to make it happen. But like every year, I am busy to clean up afterwards. I don't really have to rush but my mood is directly linked to the cleanliness of this house. I know, I shouldn't be that way but I am. And these days, I can never clean properly with someone always making a mess. So, I straighten up constantly but I let the "cleaning" part slide a little bit. I'm trying to learn to deal with it. I'm sure that there's a pill for this. In the meantime, I have my wine.
And as expected, the amount of presents this year was huge. Johnny's presents are becoming more expensive but smaller, that's a good thing. But Fred had so many cheaper things for the other three that he felt that Johnny should receive more than two or three presents to make it(the amount) equal.
Then, on top of our presents, we received gifts from the former Foster parents of Jacob and Joshua, Pat and Denise(thanks guys). Then from Denise's parents(thanks Bob and Diane).
Then from Fred's Mom and Dad in France.
They actually deposit money in Fred's account and Fred buys the kids a gift with it.
Then, because Jacob and Joshua were still officially in Foster Care until last week, gifts were donated to them through our Adoption Agency; Diakon(Thanks Angie).
And we received gifts from Fred's boss at the College(Thanks Antoinette).
And from our Friends and Fred's Tutoring Student(Thanks Jim and Keith).
And then you know who arrived. She carried the pies and pickled eggs and left my Dad to do the grunt work. Wait until he sees the Visa bill next month.
Four industrial strength garbage bags later(one for each kid), my little dining room was destroyed.
And I shed a tear. Now my Mom will read this, call me up and call me "ungrateful". No, I am grateful but my little brain couldn't figure out how I was going to organize all of this stuff. Plus, we were eating lunch one hour later in this same room.

Luckily, the next day. While I was cleaning upstairs and cleaning the kid's bedrooms, Fred was in the basement(the kid's hangout) screaming at the top of his lungs at the mess. Keep in mind, not one of the new presents/toys had gone to the basement yet. Every once in a while, I would think about going down there but I didn't want to interrupt a good thing. Luckily we had saved those industrial bags left from my Mom. Fred had filled them with last year's broken toys and all the garbage that the kids haul down there. After two hours, I found myself in the basement. What was left was on a shelf and the new things were even down there and separated on the shelves. I shed another tear.

I looked around at all of the new Christmas presents neatly organized into groups and everything where it should be and thought to myself, "Look at all of the toys I'll be throwing away the day after Christmas next year".

Mom, don't call and scream at me, I'm only trying to make people laugh. The kids loved all of the presents.

Thanks Everyone.
Oh, and as promised...


Video by Johnny
Your Friend, m.

Merry Christmas

Thanks for the Pajamas Nan and Pap

Love, John, Claire, Jacob and Joshua

O Holy Night

All of us wish you a Merry Christmas.

I have about 10 minutes before Fred calls us for dinner. The children are running around crazy and Claire is reading this as I type. I said that it's fine as long as she doesn't read it out loud. She's not listening. Johnny just told the kids that he's blocking the chimney this evening. They are all screaming. The noise is almost unbearable. Claire is reading out loud again. Jacob and Joshua are continually repeating a word that they've just made-up. This Christmas is everything that I hoped it would be. Oh, I just figured out what the boys are repeating. Fred has just made Escargot as an appetizer. They are trying to say the word but it's sounding like "S Car ah Go".
Gotta dash.One hour later.
Dinner was great.
The boys loved the Escargot eventhough Claire told them what they are. Johnny told them that it was Gary from Spongebob.

Yes, once again, Merry Christmas to all of you. When the dust settles tomorrow morning, I'll see if I can post some pictures of "the mess". It should be okay until my parents show up with their truck load. Just wait until the boys find out that we actually attend Mass on Christmas morning.

I've saved such a beautiful song for last. It's long but Celine Dion never disappoints. I know, she's nuts but you have to admit that her voice is gorgeous.
I see you Santa.

An Early Christmas Present(s)

Finally after six months, we welcomed Jacob and Joshua into our Family, legally speaking. They have actually been a part of us since the day that we met them so it doesn't seem like we've been waiting forever for the finalization. It was just another day for us.

John and Claire's adoptions had us more tense. Waiting for six months for John's birth parent's rights to be terminated was very scary. We only had to wait a month for Claire's Birth parent's rights to be terminated but it was still nerve racking. The good thing is that I had, and still have, a relationship with Claire's mom so her reassuring us that she was not going to change her mind gave us some comfort. With Jacob and Joshua, their parent's rights were terminated way before they came to us. That means, unless Fred and I really screwed up, there would be no way they would be taken away from us.
So yesterday, we made it to the Court House. We were appearing before the same Judge who did our second parent adoption in 2003 of John. Let me give you a little history. When John was born, the law of PA was that same-sex couples were not allowed to adopt. So, I had to adopt John as a single parent. Plus, I had to keep all references about a relationship with Fred out of all of our paperwork. Depending on the Judge, they may or may not approve of a gay adoption at all. By 2003, the law had changed and Fred was quick to register us before yesterday's Judge and we were the first gay couple in PA to be scheduled in court. However, the Judge, who is very "religious" and wasn't thrilled with the idea of gay men adopting a baby, had us see a psychiatrist for a psychiatric evaluation. We didn't have to do it but he "suggested" that we do. By the time we had, we were in a line behind several Lesbian couples doing the same sort of adoption. He had no problems with two women adopting, just men.
But we paid for our evaluation and submitted it to the Court. He agreed to see us. But because of his reluctance in seeing us, our anxiety level was high. However, he could see that we were both bonded to Johnny and that he(Johnny) knew us as his parents. It also helped that Fred spoke to him in French and Johnny would reply.
And at the end of the hearing, the Judge apologized to us for making us jump through hoops and wished us the very best. Claire was born three months later but we finalized her adoption in Maryland where she was born. It was much easier.
Fred snapped this picture of me with our hot Adoption Attorney, Jen, going over procedure. You may remember her from my 4th of July posting"The 4th with Tom and Jen". I explained to Jen that if she "sexed" it up and bit and undid a button or two, this hearing would be a piece of cake. She went on and on about ethics and the law and to be honest, all I was thinking about were her new highlights. Jen, thanks for all your help and your friendship.
But as you can see, it was a success. Judge Hoover really loved us yesterday. He was so impressed with how happy all of the children looked and could see that he was right in approving John's adoption six years ago. Also pictured above is our Caseworker, Angie, the boy's caseworker, Megan, and ofcourse, my Mom and Dad. We could have invited the whole world but decided to make it small on purpose. But don't feel shunned, I was thinking about you.

Here's a little Christmas song that I think most of you may know. Fred and the kids have watched it a billion times. For some reason, I have only seen about five minutes of it. To be honest, those cartoon kid's faces give me the creeps. But it is a nice song. Also, it's about kids, like this posting, it's Christmas-y and Fred likes the French version.

Enjoy.

You Friend, m.

Happy Birthday Gran

Yesterday was my Gran's Birthday. She's above holding my Dad. Picture not taken recently. As mentioned previously, she is in a nursing home because she suffers from Alzheimer's. Sadly, she is in the same nursing home as my Sister. So, when we visit Sis(Paula), we visit my Gran. It's not that easy when I have all of the kids with me. First, the kids are everywhere I don't want them to be and second, the old ladies are always reaching out to touch one. I try to accommodate the people when I can so I usually let the kids shake hands with them. It makes them happy, I think. The entire Floor is dedicated to Alzheimer Patients so I don't quite know what they are thinking. That includes my Gran. I'm sure that everytime we walk into the room, she is probably thinking, who are all these "Colored People"? Yes, that is how she talked but it wasn't offensive to me at all, it's just the word she used. She loved me as much as a Grandmother could and would never want to hurt me.

For some reason, Johnny always wants to go with me to visit Gran. He won't give me a straight answer but I stopped asking him because I don't want to ruin a good thing. I purposely did not take a picture of her but only Johnny holding her hand. She looked like the first picture for most of her life and that's how I like to remember her.

She did take a liking to Joshua however. She probably thinks that he is my Dad or my uncle Rich(father of Jamie and Megan who I talked about before). It doesn't matter, as long as it makes her happy, she can believe anything that she wants.

Happy Birthday Gran

Love you, Marky

Oh, I just had to include this picture of my Dad(oldest) with my Aunt Pam and Uncle Rich. I would love to be there when my Aunt Pam S(I have two Aunts named Pam) opens this and sees herself looking like a Coal Miner's Daughter.

Sorry Pam, this picture was just too good to pass-up.

But back to my Gran. In Honor of Her, here is a beautiful song honoring another Good Mother.

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

Okay, since Fred's birthday is over for this year, I can now concentrate on another "famous" birthday. I hope he doesn't mind that I'm focusing on Jesus Christ for awhile. Oops, sorry, I said the J.C. word! Oh wait, I'm talking about the actual Jesus Christ. That's okay, right?

Public School, a billion years ago, all we sang were songs about Jesus. Santa hardly was ever mentioned. Look, Highspire was "quietly" restricted at that time. I barely got in let alone non-Christians and Atheists. And yes, they loved it when you talked about Jesus. As long as you didn't mention that he was Jewish. That would be a detention for sure. But all that Programming, I mean, Worshiping, sunk in and all I want to listen to this time of year is the music that is now only sung in J.J.J. & C's schools.

Claire is there in the middle although the boy in front of her looks like her twin.

I could only get this close to the choir without pushing up against these guys in front of me. Plus, I was sitting on the floor with Jacob and Joshua on my lap so it wasn't easy. Johnny is in the back row(tall people row) on your left. You can see his little head.

Here is a picture of him exiting. You may be able to see that he is lowering his head. He is not sad, he's embarrassed. Jacob and Joshua kept yelling out "Johnny, Johnny" "We're here" "We See You".

This week, it was the boy's turn. These pre-schoolers are funny because as much as you rehearse them, they still have no clue what's going on. But they are so much fun to watch and the parents get such a kick out of their performances.

Good Job Boys.

I want to share with you some music over the next couple of weeks. I didn't know what to start with since there is so much beautiful music out there. But, I had to choose one and this version of O Come, O Come Emmanuel is simply gorgeous.

Maybe I'll throw a Santa song into the mix somewhere along the line as well.

Warning!!! The following clip shows an image of Jesus Christ, Son of God.

Enjoy!

Your Friend, m.
Jew Lover

Shhh, don't tell Fred. He's been calling me that for years. And it has nothing to do with Jesus.

Happy Birthday Fred

Fred no longer visits this Blog but I'll force him to tonight. He'll be so embarrassed that I did this to him, I don't know what he'll do. You may never see another post from me again. If you don't hear from me in a couple of days, call the police.

Okay, below is a little story line about Fred. I grabbed some pictures and tried to make sense of them. I asked my Co-worker to find the song for me a few weeks ago. I still don't know how to do it myself. So, he found the song, sent it to me and I added the pictures. I was hoping that I could fade them in and out for a smooth transition but I couldn't figure it out with the time that I had. I'll do a much better presentation for our Anniversary.

Anyway, eventhough I sometimes feel like strangling Fred and I watch CSI for helpful hints just in case I can't stand it anymore, I really do love him. And if wasn't for him, I'd still be out in the bars trolling for a husband. And at my age, I'd take what I could get.

I know, that's not a very romantic lead into the video but what can I say? That's me.

Love you Fred.
note* My Friend Rebecca L-G took that picture of Fred above in 1991. It's one of my Favorites. Thanks Beck.

Hannah has two Mommies

Introducing Joy and Sue. These are my super good friends that I've known for about 11 years now. Picture it, Harrisburg, 1998. A Beautiful young cocoa colored boy was walking along the Susquehanna river walking his puppy Golden Retriever. From out of nowhere, two women walking their Golden Retriever puppy started talking to the young boy who was in the prime of his life. That strapping young lad was me and those two women were Joy and Sue. Truth be told, I wasn't that young.

I totally stole that story telling line from Sophia from the Golden Girls. It works though, right?
Well anyway, as we were walking our puppies(I liked dogs at that time), they told me that they were trying to start a family. I told them that Fred and I were wanting to do the same thing too. From that point on, we started to hang out.
February of 2000, they gave birth to Hannah. Well, actually, only one of them gave birth. I am holding her in the picture above. Hannah, not the the Mother. Two months later, Johnny was born. They were the ones who trained us on how to change a diaper. I also give the girls credit for convincing Fred into buying our first home in mid-town. It was condemned with rats, crack whores and missing floors but I loved it and they made Fred see the potential.
Olivia and Joy in October of this past year. Olivia just had a sleep over with Claire the other night. Claire likes to tell her that she is no longer into Princesses. Olivia lives for Everything Princess.
Fast forward 11 years, and we are Fred, Mark, Joy & Sue plus 8. But like all of our City friends, they eventually came to the conclusion that they were too good for us and moved to the West Shore.
This is Johnny and Ethan playing above in front of their new house. Following is a brochure(2 pages) that a neighbor gave to them when they moved in. It is the original advertisement to their house. How cool is that?

Wouldn't you love to buy a house for $4990.00? Since the housing market is crap, that's about all that I can get for ours when we go to sell.
You know, having four kids is a lot of work and a full time job. And even the best parents sometimes need a break. Joy is above trying to get rid of her youngest, Charlie, to Hillary Clinton last year when she campaigned in Harrisburg. Just joking. But, this is actually Joy and Charlie in an AP photo that was everywhere in the news 10 minutes after it happened. Personally, I'd be afraid to hand over my baby to Hillary. I would really have to hate it.

But, as you can see, they made it to the White House to get Charlie back after Obama won. Poor Hillary, she couldn't even keep the baby.

Joy and Sue, thanks for being such good friends.

You Friends, m & f

Nobel Peace Prize - Congratulations...

Martin Luther King. You REALLY deserved it.

I found this cartoon and thought that it fit both the news today and the Season. How appropriate. And True.

I couldn't let this Posting go by without picking on Gore. I was watching him the other morning on CNN(Fred left it on) and almost choked on my Fiber One Honey Clusters. I had to switch over to SpongeBob who I take more seriously. Seriously!!

Your Friend, m.

p.s. I tried to become a Liberal. I just a hard time trying to remember all the lies. I know you want to punch me. But you'll have to get in line behind the Gays, Blacks and my Mom. Although I'm big with Stay at Home Moms, 28-42. They just love me.

Note: A woman who doesn't work and whose kids are in school, is not a S.A.H.M., she's a Housewife. Just thought you should know. I'm not knocking Housewives. My goal in life is to become one. I'm just saying.

m.(picture from last year. I recycle)