The Evolution of Fern

Yesterday marked another Anniversary. It was the 20th Anniversary of Anthony and I meeting. On Mark's Birthday, I let you know that I had totally missed Anthony's birthday back in February. In my defense, I was a little busy back in February(just like this month) and also, as close as Anthony lives to us and he calling me his friend, you would think that he would visit at least three times a year. So I forget some things. I would visit him but I would have to take a kid or two with me and I'd be afraid that I would lose them in his clutter. I know, you are thinking how I can remember when we met. It's easy, I met him one week exactly after I met Fred. We were both in the Club, again, and then we both ended up at the same after hours party at someone's(?) house on 2nd Street. In those days, if you heard of a party, you just sort of showed up and that was that. Tell me, do you think that he'll like that picture above of him?

Here we are after knowing each other just a few months. He seems awful close to me, don't you think? Also, I think that is Brian T.'s boot in the picture. I really wanted those shoes too. I guess jealousy can stay with one forever.

Anthony lived in out in the Boondocks somewhere and would travel into the City(if you can call Harrisburg that) every now and then. Believe me, compared to where he did live, Harrisburg was a major metropolis. Really, by the time he got his horse and buggy to town, the night life was almost over.

This is not his hometown by the way but it's just as "charming" and we are both in it so I thought I would show it to you. Plus, I think that that's my LeBaron on the side. I really miss that car.

So of course, we became great friends as you have to know by now. It's funny, I can't remember if Mark was at that party but if not, he met Anthony shortly after that. When the two of them get together, I just sit back and enjoy the show. And take a lot of pictures of course.

Yes, Anthony is really going to kill me for showing these pictures of her, I mean him. He really confuses me sometimes??? This picture was taken in my first apartment on my own. Anthony was my last roommate and so that we could continue to be friends, it was best that we got the hell away from each other. He would agree. I always say I had to go because of his lack of housekeeping skills. But maybe he pushed me out because my need for household order and making up crazy rules as I go. I choose not to remember. Either way, it was the best for both of us.

And he and Fred get along well. In fact, they get along too well. When Anthony does visit, he and Fred spend the time ripping me apart. They say that I'm a bit controlling. Okay, they say I'm very controlling. I like to see it as a charming personality trait of mine. Here's the deal, yes I'm controlling but they both must be into that sort of thing since they are both here after 20 years. You tell me.

Oh yes, that Anthony has been trying for years to get in between Fred and me. Take my word for it, when I leave Fred for my new Lesbian girlfriend, Hannah, Anthony will show up on this doorstep in five seconds with Suitcase in hand offering Fred his condolences.

Just look at him, pretending to wash dishes so as to impress Fred. Really, he has no idea what he's doing. I had to re-wash those dishes after he left that night.

Okay, I'm being mean to poor old Anthony. Yes, he won't even wait until my body is cold to move in on Fred but I love him anyway. I guess I have a thing for back stabbing harpies. Who knew?

I guess I had a thing for that purple shirt as well. I remember it fondly, I wore it all of the time. I still would except I washed it so much that it fell to pieces.

Here is how Anthony became Fern. First of all, Gays hate when you shorten their names. And we would never call Anthony, Tony. That just would not fit him. But, we did start saying Anfernee, then Aunt Ferny, then to Fern Marie and then to plain old Fern. He'll answer to anything, it's hilarious. Well at least Mark and I think so. And the kids still call him Aunt Ferny. That's even funnier.

One day, Mark, Anthony and I went out Lowes to buy some lumber. Just kidding, we went out to look for chandeliers. I know, you never would have believed the lumber story. Anyway, Anthony went off to the restroom and Mark and I thought that we would have a little fun. So, we went to the Help Desk and said that we lost our friend and asked if they could page him. The woman said "sure, what's his name?". We said "Fern".
"Would Fern please report to the Front Desk. Fern to the Front Desk.
One minute later he comes marching down the isle looking like this at us.

He said, "I can't believe you did that". When we stopped laughing, we told him that no one in the store knew it was him until he came up to us at the counter looking so mad. Good Times! Mark and I still shake with laughter re-telling that story.

Listen, everyone has friends that you do stupid things with and even though no one else thinks it's funny, you and your friends do and that all that matters. I'm just glad that I can hold on to my friends as long as I have.

Happy 20th Anthony.
Your Friend, m.
p.s. Thanks for posing for all of these pictures over the years. The Blogging world really appreciates it.
Ooops, I almost forgot a song for my friend.

Actually, that's Fern singing in our backyard. He does that every once in awhile. Yeah, that Mennonite Church really messed him up.