2011

Late Spring 2009(also, the first photo that I ever posted on this blog)

Long post ahead!  You've been warned.

Late Summer 2009

Let's recap 2011!  Just kidding.  I wouldn't make you sit through 12 months of my rambling nonsense.  So instead, I give to you, new nonsense!  I'm not even going to get into "What a Year it's been"  kinda talk.  Every year has its highs and its lows and everything in between.  From this site, you've seen me funny(just agree), angry(not really, I take that out on Fred and my Mom), lost(when my kids are gone), overwhelmed(when my kids return), and sad(must we go there again?).  But hopefully, while writing about our domestic adventures, I've been able to entertain you.  And after all that I've written this year, who knew that a trip to the Piercing Pagoda would prove to be my most popular post ever?  Maybe all my posts should be Mall related!  How's this for a title:  "Skinny-Jeans for overweight middle aged gay men.  My adventures at Hollisters"

Fall 2009

By the way, it's 3:30a.m. on Friday morning.  I just woke up and can't get back to sleep.  I knew I wanted to do a post today but am truly "winging it".  I have no new photos so I went to the archives.  I also have no idea how long this post will be.  If you want to get credit for visiting me, just skip this whole mess and write something like, "Great photos, Happy New Year".  It's all the same, right?  Oh, hey!  Before I forget, if you comment from your phone, your comment is sent to me but usually hours later and I then have to manually enter it.  I'm not sure why it does that.  Let's continue.

Christmas evening 2009

I'm feeling better as a writer/blogger this year.  I rarely(most times) make the mistake of writing its when I want to write it's anymore.  And it goes the same for then vs than.  Yes, it has taken me 43 years to correct that but still, I did it!  Sadly though, my fingers type faster than(I used to write "then") my brain thinks and therefore, I occasionally leave out words or sometimes entire sentences from paragraphs.  It's really bad when I'm trying to make a joke and leave out the punch line only to discover it a day later after 500 people read it and realize that I'm an idiot.  Still, you gotta hand it to me for getting that "it's" thing down.  "It's" been a real bitch!

Winter 2010

It also took me awhile to find the right balance for me as far as blogging goes.  You've seen a few posts, over this year, with me struggling through how often to blog.  Although it seems small, two times a week seems to be the right amount for me.  I could do more but a couple of things would happen.  I would get tired, frustrated and then breakdown.  And, the quality would certainly go down hill.  Two times a week seems to give me time to work, play and think in between posts.  I've also learned, from you, that not blogging for a while is okay too.  Thanks!  But I think the greatest thing, for me, is not blogging on the weekend.  Maybe one day, when the kids are more independent, I can do that again.  But for right now, I just can't.

Spring 2010

If I may, I'm proud of myself for keeping this blog mainly about the children.  I've gone to other topics sometimes but I always come back to the kids.  No one else knows the topic/subject of my children better than I do.  I don't know much about anything else but them.  And the best part is, no one can question my facts or sources.

Summer 2010

And while visiting other blogs, I've learned quite a lot about other bloggers.  Here are just a few things:

When dealing with Liberal Baby Boomers about politics, know your facts.  They'll eat you alive!
Lesbians love to write about feelings and emotions.  Pages and pages and pages of feelings.  I don't really "do" feelings.  At the same time, I love hanging out with my Lesbian Friends while they're are going on an on and I still beg for me.
Mommy Bloggers only care about your opinion if you agree with them 100%.  Otherwise, don't comment.
Bloggers who post only negative things post after post, should really just stick to posting to Facebook where that's the norm.
Some of my favorite bloggers have closed up shop or are on a very long holiday.  That makes me sad.  I still have my fingers crossed that they'll return.
And finally, Gay Male Bloggers.  I'm one of you!  Although I walk around like a mother duck with her babies following behind, I'm still you.  If you cut me, do I not bleed?  If you decorate with Queen Anne furniture, do I not talk about you behind your back?  If you put on a Donna Summer album, do I not dance?  Obviously, I have some gay male followers but not as many as I thought I would have.  Please guys, correct me if I'm wrong.  Do you not think that I'm "down with the struggle" and that I sold out to be a parent?  If so, I need you to stick around and soon you'll learn what it has cost me just because I am Gay and live in the U.S.  And when you do, you will kneel before me in wonderment.  And while you're down there, you might as well make yourself useful.

Late Summer 2010

Some more observations.

If I'm the only one who ever comments on your site, it would be nice if you just stopped in to say "hi" every now and then.  I'm just sayin'!
Some of you are Writers by nature or training.  You're very smart, I get that!  However, you don't need to impress me with your "smartitude".  If you were born and raised by factory workers in Ohio, take pride in it.  It's called a livingroom, not a Parlour.
And please, I beg of you, don't write that you "settled" for adoption.  It's insulting to me and your children.

Early Fall 2010

Ah, I feel better now.  I'm glad I got that all out.  Do I have any Followers left?  You know I love you.  I just like to mess with you every now and then.  I'm so glad that you know that I'm harmless and even though I fill my blog with "snarkyness" and sarcasm, I'm glad that you are all smart enough to read between the lines and know that I mean nothing by it.  Except when I wrote about mixing Hunter Green with Burgundy.  There are some things I just can't joke about.  Hmmm, am I being funny or serious right now?  It's hard to tell.  I know! Just don't chance it!

Winter 2010

Oh stop it!  You know that I'm head over heels in love with you.  And here's why.  I want my blog to succeed so that my children have this to look back on.  Yes, I wrote before you all came along and if you bailed on me today, I'd still write.  But you, by visiting and leaving donations(comments), encourage me to keep on going.  So as it is, you are also giving a gift to my children.  So thank you.

Late Winter 2011

I want to take another break.  I really do.  And it's time that I do that.  However, Our Simple Lives(our real lives) are/is about to get more "interesting".  And what kind of good for nothing blogger would I be if I didn't write about the "juicy stuff"?

Fall 2011

You've all been great this past year.  Without even knowing it, you forced me to improve in so many ways.  You've made me laugh(especially when using the word parlour) and I may have even shed a tear or two over some of your posts.  And no, I do not have pictures of me crying!  Just take my word for it.  And most importantly, you were there(blog wise) to get me through December.  Otherwise known as Hell Month 2011.

I'll see you all next year.  Because I was too lazy to make a new one, please enjoy the year end video that I made for 2009.  And you can see how my babies have grown since then.  Note:  The twins joined us in April of that year.

Happy New Year!
Your Friend, m.
p.s.  It's now 5:30a.m. and I finally feel like I can sleep.  Except I have to proof read this mess of a post.  I'll take a nap and schedule it to post later.
p.s.s.  If I made the "it's vs its" mistake without even realizing it, don't tell me.
m.

"Is this the little girl I carried"

Her Majesty and me, 2004

Last week, my Mom and I took Claire out to the Mall for an early Christmas present.

Remember when my girl looked like this?

 Claire 2010

After years of begging, mostly from my Mom, I caved in and let Claire get her ears pierced.

Seriously, all of her friends have their ears pierced but was I holding out.  And because my Mom kept planting the idea into her head, Claire continued to ask for it more often.  Then, a couple of months ago, Fred suggested that we do it for her for Christmas.

So then it was three against one(me).  I just wanted her to stay my baby for as long as possible or forever.  Whichever came first.  Obviously, Claire is not my youngest child but she is my baby girl.  And in a house full of men, she is a protected Class.  It's really how I think.  If I come from upstairs and I don't spot Claire, I'll ask Fred, "Where's Claire".  He'll say, "I don't know, outside somewhere".  Then I go into crazy mode until I find out where she is.  Usually, I find her in some corner reading a book or something but it freaks me out that I don't know where she is 24/7.  Obviously, I go nuts if I don't know where any of my children are, but girls are special and need to be guarded.

So once again, I gave in and Claire was thrilled.  I had her call my Mom and tell her that we'd come for her the following day and head out to the Mall.  We picked up my Mom around 6PM and drove out.

In the car, I asked Claire if she was happy.  She said was happy and nervous.  I asked, "Why nervous?".  She replied, "I've been waiting my whole life for this".  She really knows how to get to me sometimes.

The young women at the Piercing Pagoda were extremely kind and professional.  I was so grateful for that.  Beyond some of my "minor" issues, I have major issues with Customer Service.  If I get "attitude", Lord help the person who just gave it to me.  My only problem was, what should have been both shots to the ears at the exact same time, didn't happen.  Still my girl was a trooper.

Oh, I need to let you in on something.  I got a new camera about two weeks ago.  I basically feel like I'm back to the drawing board when it come to photography.  Please excuse the non-sharpness of these photos.  I will get better.

So Claire has her started-earrings in for the next month.  I'm sure my Mom is currently shopping for big hoop Donna Summer earring as I type.  Unless she passes down hers from 1979.

Yep, that's me behind the pickled eggs and german potato salad.

But now, it's all over.  I've dreaded this day forever.  I fear that it's a slippery slope once one's ears are pierced.  Pierced ears, butterfly tattoos, Pontiac Firebird, defendant on Judge Judy, Crack-Whore.  I'm pretty sure that's how it progresses.  Good thing I enrolled her in the Sisters of Perpetual Sorrow Convent on the day of her birth.  I look ahead!

 See, she already got the look down pat.

But don't worry for Claire.  She knows what she's doing.

She's a girl with a plan.

It won't be my plan but I hear that's usually how it goes.  And although I want to keep her a baby, I think she is growing up.  "Blossoming even as we gaze".

If I have my way, Sister Claire's dad, m.

This is my Christmas post

Hang in there little buddy.  It's almost over.

The kids are counting the days down.  Joshua gives me updates every morning at breakfast.  How he keeps track of that, when he can barely put his underwear on the right way, I'll never know.  But in him, I see a child's Joy at Christmastime.  And that's nice.  I'll take it!

It's been a busy month and I've not had one break.  And my body and mind are noticing it.  The only reason that I can think of for Fred not strangling me is that it must be a Christmas miracle.  I've been an absolute bear.  And not the fun kind with leather and chaps either.

Johnny has to put in volunteer hours through the school and so he and I worked at the Food Bank on Monday night.  Tuesday, he had a choral concert.  He moved his lips but I'm not sure if he actually sang.  But he looked so cute that I just wanted to run up on stage and kiss his face off.  But apparently they frown at that in this school.  Wednesday night I took Claire to Brownies.  Like a fool, I accepted the role of Cookie Mom for our troop's Girl Scout Cookie sale starting next month.  Those poor Moms have no idea what they're in for with me running the sale.  Claire may be the only girl left in her troop come March.  Then last night, my Mom and I took Claire out for an early Christmas present.  I'll tell you about it next week.

I'm off work today and will not go back until January 3rd.  My house is a pigsty and so I'll spend today cleaning.  I'm in the mood to just tear through and start tossing stuff in the trash.  Unfortunately, since I'll be doing it without anyone in the house noticing, you won't see it here as part of my decluttering mission.  But believe, I'll be feeling good come 4PM.  Then I'll have a couple glasses of wine, and while I'm drunk, I'll leave incoherent and trashy comments on your beautifully written and Holy Christmas posts.  Would you like me to visit you?

We'll spend Saturday rushing to organize the house, buying last minute food items and generally getting everything in order for my Parents when they arrive Sunday morning for Christmas.  Why Fred spends the day worrying about the meal and I go nuts worrying about how things look, is beyond me.  My Mom and Dad don't give a lick about how the house looks and would be just as happy to be served Swanson Chicken Pot Pies.  Still, it's what we do.  The Gays are good with major productions.  And don't even get me started with the closing ceremonies and my "Away in the Manger" solo number complete with three wardrobe changes .  I've hardly had time to practice at all!  And if the livestock doesn't arrive by Noon, I'm totally screwed.

Then, after the kids go down, we'll be up late wrapping presents and placing them perfectly under the tree as if winged Angels, with flowing blond hair, courtesy of Loreal, placed them there themselves.  And if no child wakes me up in the middle of the night, I may be able to squeeze in six hours of sleep.  Doesn't that sound exciting?  But it's all good.  Because come Christmas morning, we are running on total adrenaline and caffeine and it will all be a total silver and gold blur by 1PM.

I'm not sure yet if I'll take the kids to the Chrildren's Mass on Saturday evening or the Sunday morning service.  We'll see.  Or I just may end up going alone.  That may be a Christmas present to myself.  Who knows!

I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and get everything that you want and not what you actually deserve.  See, I just made a "funny".  Not funny?  Oh well.  Geez, you're so sensitive.

Oh, I almost forget.  Remember last week when I acted all "I'm better than you because I'm not ready for advertising on this blog".  Since then, I've been contacted by two different companies wanting to promote their site here.  I didn't care for the first one's approach so I ignored him.  However, the second one came across as sincere and very pleasant.  Still, since I made a stand, I need to stick by that.  That said, I did write back to Liz, thanked her very much for what she was offering me but said that I couldn't do it just yet.  But because I liked how she contacted me and I like her company's product(s), I told her that I would link her site in my next post.  And just so you know, I am not getting paid(boo hoo) and I'm not accepting what they offered me for free(don't tell Fred). I just wanted to give them a Christmas gift.  So if you have a second, click on over and check out their site.  I hope they make a million dollars off of my gift to them.  Please visit mymemories.com.

But truly, the Holiday Season is meant to bring out the best in everyone.  Let it do that for you.  Open your hearts to all the goodness.  And don't you worry your pretty little heads over crazy ole me.

"I'm barely getting through tomorrow"

"But still I won't let sorrow bring me way down"

"I'll be just fine and dandy"

Is it just me or does it look like she's performing on The Love Boat? I half expected to see Isacc walk over to hand her a drink.

Merry Christmas.
Your Friend, m.

In Perspective

Fred's Birthday Post

Thank you all so much for reaching out and wishing Fred a Happy Birthday.   Although I had to force him even to read what I wrote.  It's very rare that Fred actually reads my blog.  I suppose I could confess horrible sins on the blog and he would never know.  Then maybe he would find out some other way and be upset.  And I would say, "Fred, I confessed to you in writing.  I thought you were fine with it since you didn't say anything.  Didn't you read my post?"  See how I would turn it around to make it his fault.

But honestly, as much as I pour my heart out and think that I making a nice gift by blogging about him, I really need to remember that Blogging is my thing and not his.  He would be very happy to never be known of in the first place.  I'm the one that obviously needs to stand on a mountain top and scream out "Here I am!  Love me"! I'll open this question up to everyone.  Do your spouses think it's very odd that you get excited by blogging and sharing everything.  By the way,  I really don't share "everything".

Post Pirating

Last week, I had a great(I thought so) post that I was going to do this week.  I knew my topic and even had the title picked out.  Then Sunday night as I was 'Marking All As Read', I saw my title on another Blogger's site.  As I've mentioned before, I don't blog on the weekends anymore.  However, I stopped and read it.  And I thought to myself, "Are you f*&^#ing kiddin' me?"  It was exactly what I wanted to write.  Well, almost.  Sadly, it was probably written better than what I would have done.  At least in my mind.  Here's the funny thing too.  A couple of weeks ago, I wrote something and then started reading pieces from others posted hours before mine.  And wouldn't you know it that this same person had something almost identical.  So had that person read mine, I would have looked like a huge copy cat.  So because I think this person is a fabulous writer and I never want to be accused of copying, I'm not doing my post topic.

After my Sister's passing

I went back to work the very next day.  It was the wrong thing to do.  Although I had a huge project to attack, looking back, it could have waited two or three more days.  If you want to know what's basically happening in my life, read my blog.  And although my boss has this site, I now know that he doesn't read it because he didn't mention my sister.  Just so you know, I share my site with mostly everyone.  It keeps me honest.  Anyway, he gave me some assignments.  I wrote them down.  I left his office, misplaced my notes and then forgot about them.  He emailed me a week later wanting updates.  I felt like crap.  It took me all of 15 minutes to gather the info that he needed but still, I felt like I had failed.

Also, as is common in our office, when something like that happens, usually a Supervisor will put word out to everyone about the loss.  And although my site is out there, I still didn't want an email sent out.  I know I'm nuts but I feel like it says, "Look at me!  Pity me"!  Although I do feel pity for some of you.  I mean, I see how you think you can still use hunter green and burgundy in your design pallet.  But I would never tell you that to your face.  I have manners you know!

Anyway, I really should have let him send that email out.  Because just when I feel I'm getting over it, I get another sympathy card in the mail from one of my caring co-workers who just heard.  I think a ton of sympathy cards at one time would have been better than opening a card now, expecting to see Santa, and I see a Cross in the sky with doves flying around it.  What an odd mail combination I'm getting these day.  "Sorry for your loss.  Ho Ho Ho"!

Is Christmas over yet?

I wonder if I'm actually depressed?  I know, this has been what you all have been waiting for.  Me to breakdown before you with tears flying all over the place like a Japanese cartoon character.  Oh, but I won't give you that glory.  I'm strong, dammit!  You won't see me crack.  Although that would increase my blog popularity.  Last year and the year before, I was going nuts with Christmas posts.  I couldn't stop myself.  This year, have you seen one yet from me?  No.  It's just not in me.

And I want to thank all of you who reached out to me, via email, asking me how I was doing.  You know who you are.  You're the ones that I didn't reply to.  I wanted to, really I did.  I just couldn't go there.  I thought it would be better to ignore the situation and continue writing funny posts and leaving vulgar comments on your blogs.  You see, if I spend my day laughing, there is no time to cry.

Thank you for letting me get that all out there.  I'm sure I'll get my "funny" back one of these days.  I know I left it around here somewhere.

Your Friend, m.

Happy Birthday Fred

I'm totally ga-ga over this guy.

He refused to let me photograph him properly so I'm stuck with pulling out old photos.  The one above was taken in the Fall of 2010.  And since I'm on a kick of showing you old photos this week, I'll continue it.  Just deal, okay?

Yes, today is Papa's birthday.  He's, well, old!  I'm not gonna sugar-coat it.  But my Fred is lucky.  Only because the older he gets, the more attractive I find him.  Sure, he was a total doll when I met him 21 plus years ago.

Don't  you just love him!

But I'm not into boys.  I'm no Sandusky.  There is something about the lines in his face that drive me crazy.  Or maybe it's his eyes.  Although it's probably his nose.  But it's most likely one of his other parts.

Visiting Fred's village in 1990

In my last post, you saw a photo of us on the day we met.  I look like total hell in that photo because I didn't want to be at that party.  Neither did Fred.  But we were dragged there and we met at the door.  I went with my Friend Rebecca and a friend named Chip.  Inside, Chip said "I wanna meet that guy."  I said, "I don't think so, Chip!"  The party was a mix of everyone.  Including kids around 20 who had rich parents, hated those parents,  dressed like they were in the Cure, and thought they knew everything about the world.  This was not my crowd.

Fred, my Mom and my Sister when she could still get around with a walker.

We talked all night.  Mostly about our Families.  I let him know that I had visited France while in high school and I did my best to try to remember the names of the towns.  I failed miserably.  He didn't seem to mind.  I'm not sure he was interested in my brain anyway at that point.  Good thing!

Fred, John and Roman, Summer 2000

When he and his friends were leaving the party to head back to the college, where they were studying and teaching for that year, we said our goodbyes.  I was lost.  I didn't know what to do so I kissed him.  He looked shocked.  I got scared.  I asked the host, Don, if Fred was even Gay.  Don said yes but that he was studying to be a monk.  That wasn't about to stop me.

Fred with John and Claire in 2003

The following Monday, I called his college from my office..  I said, "This is Mark blah blah from the blah blah blah office in blah blah and I hosted a party this past Saturday evening and there was a French teacher from your college who attended.  I wanted to thank him for coming and was wondering if you had his address"  They proceeded to give me his life's story.  I sent him a card.  I wanted to text him but it hadn't been invented yet.

Fred and Claire in 2004

He wrote back immediately.  I mean, I would too if I had a chance with hooking up with me.  We planned a rendezvous.  That's French for "let's get it on"  I was still living at Home and not quite Out so I had to make up a lie for my Mom's sake.  I told her that I was with Rebecca visiting her friends in NY.  But in reality, I was traveling along the river and through the woods past Penn State to see Fred.  When I got home, my Mom questioned why there were so many dead bugs on my windshield since I was in the city.  I thought, "Who is she, Ms. Fletcher on Murder she wrote"?  Either I came up with another lie which threw her off or Oprah came on.  Whichever, the case was closed.

Fred, John and Claire.  Epiphany 2006

That was about how it went for the next month.  But in late May, his temporary teaching assignment was over and he had to return to France.  I went to visit him in December.  Still not Out, I told my Mom that I was travelling for work.  I would call her from France( no caller i.d. back then ) so she wouldn't worry.  She questioned if I got caught up in the rain storm that passed through last night.  I said I slept right through it.  See how scary it is to be in the closet.  I hope some of you parents are taking notes.

Fred, Jacob and Joshua in 2009

For seven years, we flew back and forth to France and the U.S. to be together.  Finally, in 1997, Fred got a job teaching at a local high school.  Roman, our puppy back then, came to us soon after.  In 1999, we bought a condemned Victorian in the city for a dollar(city program) and rebuilt it.  John came to us in May of 2000 and so our Family began to form.

Fred and Joshua

Claire came to us in July of 2003.  Thinking that we were moving to Reunion Island, we sold our house(for much more than one dollar) in 2004.  We never moved to the island but it was too late to keep the house.  If you drive past it today, it looks as if it's about to be condemned again.

Fred and Jacob

Also in 2004, Fred was no longer working and became a full time college student, again.  We rented for about 18 months and purchased another condemned home and rebuilt it.  It was and still is my dream home.  I litterlaly poured blood, sweat and tears into that house.   But we bought it as an investment and sold it as such in 2007.  We took the profit, banked it and then downsized into where we are now.  Then with a house 1/2 the size of the last one, we added two more children.  I often think about how small this house is and how tight it is.  Then I think that when this house was built in the 40s, the original owners probably had six kids shoved in here.  Then I feel better, until I visit your blogs and see your Mansions.  Then I hate myself and you.  But I still leave a nice message.  I'm kind like that.

Fred, Roman and Maggie

After six years, Fred finally started working again.  The only thing that saved us, during that time, was the sale of that house in 2007.  Four kids in private school and Fred in college,  needless to say, we pinched pennies.

Most of the time

Fred receiving yet another package from Amazon

Although looking back, and perhaps I'm romanticizing it, but I don't remember struggling.  All I remember is living.  Alright, I do remember the stress.  But I'm trying to block it from memory.  So if you could not bring it up, I'd really appreciate it.

Taking a "boy's" desk and chckafying it.

It doesn't seem like almost 22 years.  We really are good Friends.  Everyone likes Fred.  Sure, I'd like to strangle him sometimes.  But then who would cook and do all the paperwork in the house?  I gave up doing the bills years ago.  And as far as cooking goes, forget about it!

The Triplets

We got a good thing going.  And as hard as it's been to keep a bi-national relationship together, it's about to get a lot worse.  Don't ask because I'm not telling you anything yet.  But this coming year will prove to be our most difficult.  I promise, as soon as I can tell you about it, I will.

All this, because I kissed him.

1992

But the important thing is that we have each other and we've overcome so many obstacles in the past 2 decades+ years.  When you hear the story behind our story, you'll wonder how we made it at all.  For any of you who already know what I'm talking about, this is not the time to discuss it.

2010

But it is the time for you all to wish Fred a Happy Birthday.  And for those of you whose native tongue is French, I'm sure Fred would enjoying hearing from you.  But don't go all "La-Ghetto" with your language either.  Fred is a  total snob when it comes to French.  But don't let that scare you.

Fred's old man, m.